Victims, Compassion, & Responsibility
|1 This refers to certain tendencies as briefly described here, and which are more pronounced in some, not all, eclectic/New Thought students who I've referred to as "New Age Fundamentalists", and briefly profiled psychologically in the section "INTERNAL SEPARATION AND HEALING", at the "Why Pain..." page (which page includes other VERY related sections as well); AND in context with other hi-structured (fundamentalist) belief systems at "Spiritual Battles & Wars" or "Systems of Structure & Effects on Learning". Somewhat related: on (the law of) karma, reincarnation, and "On Learning, Fairness, Truth, and Peace" at the Evolution Trends Page, which also includes the "updated" prophecies for the year 2012.||
'Karma-learning-Love Shield' Shared by Chris Pringer 2010
TIP: You might want to brief this whole page first,
totally resisting those links 'till you've seen it all...
OR ELSE: You may suffer the consequences of the mind-blowing
"Spread Too Thin On the Ever-Expanding Chalice-Matrix" disease!
Besides, learning is eternal - EG: it can't all be done in 5 minutes.
I know, it's difficult... just keep repeating, "MORE endorphins, LESS adrenaline, there really IS ground under my feet..."
ON THE OTHER HAND: One of my first mandalas was entitled "Synthesis". I can't say that wearing a "Synthesis" shirt will cure this groundless state -of begging for extreme circumstances just so you can locate the center of the universe - but who knows! You can always find out for yourself via the Web Page for "Synthesis" Shirts from Chalice Productions - centering yourself between mandalas silkscreened on both sides of a shirt!
NOTES ON MOTIVATION (A PRIMARY PURPOSE FOR THE EMOTIONAL BODY?)
Motivation - it's only purpose is to get the job done. It only needs to do that - pain is Not a necessity UNLESS that's the only way to get done just what has to be done. There are many ways to motivate. This implies that children, prisoners, nations, etc. do not need necessarily to experience pain in order to conform to appropriate standards. First try love, challenge, compassion, etc. and appeal to their higher nature. Then try mediation, compromise, or reward. Then try guilt or manipulation, etc. if absolutely necessary -- if nothing else works, in other words (when the objective is critical - otherwise the losses and karma would be greater for All concerned).
Hence, one can't beat, separate, or condemn someone (or some part of someone) into healing or even changing. Under those conditions more feelings of rebellion and resistance to change are created. At best we create a fear-motivated and pain-motivated person, society, or country that trains its offspring, its body, to be likewise motivated. All of which ends up cycling back to what you originally fought and denied and then acted as if there was no reason for. Acting as if there IS reason for a condition puts us in charge - gets us to the root of the need that the destructive behavior was created to fulfill. Then Healing can BEGIN. It seems to me that God didn't say - "Be a nice and willing victim for awhile and then I'll reward you," - but more likely something like, "Learn how to be all you can be -- YOU have to discover your options, make decisions, and take risks -- and I'll help you when you listen."
More on the Emotional Body and Motivation at: "Emotion & Motivation on the Path and in Healing"
Re: Poorness, Guilt, Cruelty, and "...something to cry about"
If one feels one has unnecessary advantage (Health, Wealth, Connections, etc) -- whether it is true or because one has been "trained" to believe it -- and feels guilty for it while others have so much lack and pain; Then one way to keep from feeling the pain (of others) is to make others (who are less advantaged) wrong for being so disadvantaged and miserable, and make self right for having advantage and no *apparent* pain. The fundamentalists justify this by saying "God is punishing them; rewarding me"; the (fundamentalist) "New Agers": "my good thoughts and/or Karma is returning to me and their wrong thoughts and bad Karma is returning to them;" favorites we love to hate: "you are just trying to manipulate me into giving you what you can't earn yourself, worse you are trying to make me feel (your pain, or worse, my own) and that is really going to piss me off and get you hurt, since all I feel is anger, and besides, that doesn't solve any problems, so just stop whinning and go get [a job, or a wife, a psychiatrist, a rifle, etc]."
In any case, one would (unjustly) feel more justified therefore in not extending compassion through feeling others' pain and sending prayers and/or acknowledging their true worthiness to have good in their lives. OR worse, because they feel they need to defend their advantaged position -- less they lose it -- they accuse the disadvantaged and miserable of earning their misery. Their response is very similar to the bitter father's injunction -- "If you continue to cry, I'll give you something to cry about." It comes across as punishment for feeling pain, not to mention invalidation of feelings, and strongly encourages the miserable to deny their misery, lest they be made even more miserable. And that's a popular form of insulation among those who are advantaged by position and influence to be able to do something about other's pain, but refuse to even acknowledge it. Why ? They simply aren't strong enough to feel their own pain yet.
From another angle: *If* one's previous attempts (in infancy/childhood or even later) to express the grief and sadness was answered with something like that ("don't hurt/cry"), and if what one perceives via one's feeling body is only allowed to be interpreted (by/to one's mind) only in terms of pity and manipulation (when not doing satiation/exilleration or some addictive behavior [eg: workaholism, sexaholism,] or substance), *THEN* it's likely that any invitation to feel other feelings/emotions can feel very threatening -- which state usually brings on the only other recourse -- anger (if not depression or an illness of some kind to avoid the anger)-- in order to avoid expressing the grief and sadness of actual loss that was never allowed to be safely dealt with. Obviously, in order to heal that pain, one would have to acknowledge it and feel it vs pretend it's not there / never happened. And in terms of getting this through to someone else, it probably won't happen to the degree that this someone is in a reactionary mode based on alot of old pain around being manipulated (eg: being "made to feel"). A related essay: "WHY PAIN? Notes on Pain, Awareness & Denial" (Physical and other levels) -- Aspects in Developing a Practical Approach with Compassion)
More on "the role of victim":
One IS a victim so long as one associates consciously or unconsciously with the pain of victimization -- which includes any form of making one feel one is less than one is. One will do just that, and play the victim role to one degree or another until the pain and the experience that created it is dealt with. What one denies, one empowers. [Feelings themselves are neither right nor wrong, it's what we do with them...] As the idea of responsibility [for the feelings] takes hold, the feelings of victimization begin to be addressed via belief pattern work and emotional clearing, forgiveness, etc. While experience for learning may include taking on such a role, I emphatically believe there is no appropriate justification or beneficial reason to CONSCIOUSLY create or condone a victimizing experience for oneself or others [except as noted above with regard to Karma, and that being strictly from the Soul level -- and do NOT believe someone if they victimized someone and said they did it from that level].
"Revictimization" (the re-experience of guilt/helplessness for past events), occurs when a victim is convinced that s/he is TO BLAME for her/his painful experiences, thereby re-experiencing the judgment that created the blocked memory and emotions in the first place. So, primary to the whole clearing process is dealing with the judgment and its origins. Once the "victim" builds enough self-esteem, they become strong enough to deal with the issue of responsibility for their creations. Then they will do the necessary therapy on the issue(s) at hand and will ventually come to drop the victim associations and role. This role has once childhood protected him/her from the intense shame associated with the event. In this case, it may feel better to feel like a victim -where others are perceived as responsible - than to be/FEEL personally at fault for the wrong-doing (in shame). The shame feeling is only a result of buying into the judgment (as perceived, consciously or unconsciously, coming from those who know) that begat the shame in the first place.
Forgiveness can occur when the needs for feeling valid are felt to be fulfilled, even though, in many instances the associated material or tangible losses are known to be irrecoverable (for whatever reason). The above "transition" process is usually a difficult one, however, depending on how long and strongly one has depended unconsciously on the victim role (to get the "payoff"). If this last concept of "the payoff" seems apathetic or cruel to you, you will find solace and illumination in the published works of such authors as John Bradley and Staphanie Covington and in related programs: ACA (Adult Children Anonymous), and CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous).
According to one perspective, ideal health of the emotional-body can be defined (if not actually attained except by "masters," through perhaps many persistant lifetimes) as, "A state of corporeal embodiment of Being wherein the emotional body is fluid -- totally so, such that no attachments to emotions or emotional states, or to the lack of same, exist, and such that there are no judgments that restrict the flow or awareness to same; the present is experienced/felt as present (totally new) experience; feeling states and associated images of the past do not block or functionally impair perception of any relevant current data; sufficient detachment from emotions to eliminate emotional reaction while increasing feeling-response-ability and choice, and simultaneous disidentification with any emotional aspect and still retaining capacity for total empathy as consciously directed." [Such a master would also have lived through lifetimes of experiences of storing and denying emotions due to trauma, as well as re-integrating them, and so would practice compassion for all people in whatever stages of such processes, and would attain other's invitation or permission before "testing" them or otherwise teaching them towards assisting their psycho-spiritual integrative processes.]
A note of loving caution: as long as we make ourselves wrong for being less "realized" than what we are, our ego will grasp to identify with "higher" states. This can serve to motivate but also creates blindness to the "Present Moment" wherein self-realization occurs. It does this by using the mind to fool ourselves into believing our dreams are here-and-now realities, while it denies that it still holds on to old patterns. The liberating implication therefore, is that there is no healthy reason to judge oneself, let alone punish oneself, for being where one is in the process.
© Chris Pringer, 7-30-96 [Some notes in brackets added Feb'12; reformatted Nov'11, Feb'12]
If some folks were to see how I live and hear of my having written an essay on abundance, they would be sure that I was either a comedian, a hypocrite, or a blathering idiot. My response to that would be, "well, that's understandable , given the usual definitions..." for abundance or success - primarily based on how one "understands" karma, belief patterns, and life decisions about what might be called ones priorities.
In any case, I am happy to say that I am rich in many ways that are not associated with how the image of 'success' has been promoted in the media. And essentially that: further understanding of the definitions, values, and concepts regarding such terms as 'magnetism,' 'achievement,' 'attainment,' and 'true abundance' would be a valuable thing in this 'all about winning' era, and I hope to provide at least some clarification in the essay, "Attainment And Achievement -- The Alignment Of Beliefs, Desires, And Needs", the essay, "Whole Being Integration In Manifesting Abundance...", and the essay, "Achievement of Goals, Attainment, And the Role of Inner Work: A Flow Chart of the Human Psyche in Growth Facilitation and ...", referred to as "The Goal Chart", and which includes "Heart's Desire, Ideals, & Accomplishment" (Aug'11).
The term 'karma' may also deserve some attention, and that is covered more extensively in the essay, Evolution Trends..." in the section "On Learning, Fairness, Truth, and Peace", and in essay, "Victims, Compassion, & Responsibility -- Notes on The Emotional-Body, Denial of Pain, & 'Easy Answers' (Not!)", as well as in essay, "WHY PAIN? Notes on Pain, Awareness & Denial," Pertains to Physical and other levels - Aspects in Developing a Practical Approach with Compassion. You'll find many other references to essays at this site here, and here's where I toss in my 2nd disclaimer below (and some humor).
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"Integration" by Krysta Gibson
about Common myths vs realities about psycho-spiritual integration; effective guidance about feelings and memories, 'living in the now', 'releasing' events and people, 'forgiving and forgetting' the past - for living the spiritual life fully and meaningfully. Originally published by Krista Gibson in "The New Times" of Seattle. Through the late 80's & most of the 90's, I always read Krysta's essays if I didn't have time to read anything else, and kept copies of various or her articles handy for my clients to take home with them. Still current...
"Understanding the Pattern Triad and The Body Pattern Assessment"
(Rev'd & New Sections, 12/27/09) Mind-Body Relationships and *coping mechanisms, *challenges, and *gifts on one's Life Path. This page is about how the body has habitually responded to experience is evidenced by the body's holding and movement patterns. Includes "Notes on Mind-Body Correlations - Source-References, Organization of *Body Memory,* and 'WHAT I DO' " (New 12/27/09). Other sections include excerpts from "Body Memory and ... Learning Life Lessons." About aspects to be discovered, emotionally cleared, and then employed as mental/emotional assets and guidance towards determining and accomplishing life goals. Note: Keywords referring to, or related to, the same phenomenon: fascia memory, somatic memory, tissue memory, muscle memory, somatic experience, somatic healing, somatic therapy.
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Web site/page © Chris Pringer, 1997 to Present (see individual articles and graphics for © dates by the author/artist)